Self Judgement

We often think of external obstacles, such as lack of time, resources, or opportunities, as the biggest barriers to growth. But more often than not, the real roadblock isn’t outside of us, it’s within. Our self-judgment, that relentless inner critic, can be the most significant force holding us back from progress, joy, and self-acceptance.

The Weight of Self-Judgment

When I first started rock climbing, I found myself consumed by frustration. I’d watch others climb with ease, seemingly fearless, while I felt paralyzed by anxiety and fear. Instead of acknowledging my journey, I judged myself harshly for not being good enough to overcome my fear. I assumed that because fear gripped me in ways that didn’t seem to affect others, I was somehow less capable.

This pattern of self-judgment isn’t unique to climbing. We do it in our careers, relationships, and personal growth. We tell ourselves we should be more confident, more successful, more fearless. Furthermore, we compare ourselves to others, often without knowing their struggles, and then use that comparison as proof of our shortcomings.

The Liberation of Self-Compassion

It took years of introspection and self-work to recognize that my fear whilst climbing wasn’t a flaw, it was just part of my process. Everyone experiences fear differently, and the way we manage it is deeply personal. The moment I stopped judging myself for feeling anxious and instead focused on working with my fear rather than against it, everything changed.

I accepted that fear would always be part of my climbing journey to some degree, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t grow as a climber. The key wasn’t to eliminate fear, it was to manage it in a way that allowed me to keep growing as a climber.

How Self-Judgment Stunts Growth

When we judge ourselves too harshly, we:

• Avoid challenges because we fear failure.

• Dismiss our progress because it doesn’t look like someone else’s.

• Internalize setbacks as proof of personal inadequacy.

• Struggle with self-worth because we believe we must be perfect to be valuable.

The truth is, self-judgment doesn’t push us to improve, it keeps us stuck. Growth happens when we acknowledge our struggles with kindness rather than criticism.

Turning Self-Judgment into Self-Growth

If you find yourself constantly critiquing your progress, try shifting your mindset with these strategies:

• Notice the inner critic – Become aware of the negative self-talk and question its validity. Is it really true, or is it just the fear talking?

• Practice self-compassion – Treat yourself as you would a friend. Would you judge them as harshly as you judge yourself?

• Focus on your journey – Growth isn’t linear, and it certainly isn’t the same for everyone. Your process is uniquely yours.

• Redefine success – Instead of measuring progress by perfection, measure it by effort, persistence, and personal breakthroughs.

• Allow yourself to be a work in progress – You don’t have to have it all figured out. Learning and evolving is the journey.

Be Kinder to Yourself

On days when fear still grips me while climbing, I remind myself that the fear doesn’t define me, it’s just part of the process and I can work through it. I’ve learned to be kind to myself and to acknowledge my challenges without letting them dictate my self-worth.

So ask yourself: Where in your life could you be kinder to yourself? Could letting go of self-judgment allow you to take new risks, embrace new challenges, and move forward with confidence?

If self-doubt and self-judgment are keeping you stuck, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Let’s work together to help you embrace growth with self-compassion. Schedule a free consultation today.