Relationship During Transition

Big life transitions, such as moving to a new country, starting a new job, or becoming a parent, can be both exciting and deeply destabilizing. These changes often shake up not just our daily routines, but also the way we relate to those closest to us. As a relationship coach and someone who’s lived across multiple continents, I’ve seen firsthand how transitions can quietly strain even the most loving partnerships.

Why? Because change doesn’t just test your day-to-day life, it tests your communication, coping styles, and the way you and your partner navigate stress and conflict. In unfamiliar territory, unresolved patterns rise to the surface: who takes the lead under pressure, who withdraws, who needs more support but doesn’t know how to ask for it.

I experienced this deeply during a major transition of my own.

My Own Experience: Moving to Santiago

Shortly after meeting my husband, I moved to London in my early 30's. After living there, I had built a life I loved, a fulfilling career, a strong community, and a sense of stability. But when my husband received a job offer in Santiago, Chile, we decided to relocate.

While I was excited about the adventure, the reality of uprooting my life again, this time in my late 30s, was much harder than I expected. I didn’t speak Spanish, which made even simple tasks like ordering food or making appointments overwhelming. And being so far away from friends and family, the isolation set in quickly.

Then, just two months after arriving, I had a serious biking accident. I broke my arm and dislocated my wrist. Suddenly, I couldn’t shower, cook, or get dressed without help. I felt helpless. At the same time, my husband was navigating the pressures of a demanding new job. He wanted to support me, but he was exhausted.

Every small challenges, such as finding medical care, managing daily tasks, or simply coping with the stress, added tension between us. We argued more. We misunderstood each other. It was a hard season. But what I’ve learned since is that our experience wasn’t unique, many couples struggle during times of transition.

So how do you protect your relationship when life throws everything up in the air?

4 Ways to Stay Connected During Big Life Changes

1. Prioritize Honest Communication - Transitions can stir up frustration, resentment, and distance. It’s easy to assume your partner understands what you’re going through, but they might not.

• Set aside regular time to check in emotionally, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day.

• Be clear about your needs instead of expecting your partner to guess.

• Listen without defensiveness. Remember, both of you are adjusting—just in different ways.

2. Practice Patience and Empathy - Stress can show up as short tempers, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection. It helps to remember: your partner isn’t the enemy.

• Offer each other grace. A sharp word or distant mood is often about overwhelm, not rejection.

• Try to understand each other’s emotional landscape, one might be grieving what was lost, while the other is focused on what's next.

3. Make Time for Shared Experiences - When life feels unfamiliar, it's easy to grow apart. Rebuilding connection means creating moments of togetherness.

• Schedule date nights, even simple ones like walking in a park or trying a new café.

• Find a shared project: decorating your new home, learning the language, planning local trips.

• Small moments of joy can remind you why you’re in this together.

4. Reach Out for Support - If tensions keep building, you don’t have to handle it alone.

• Couples coaching or therapy isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a proactive way to grow together.

• Join local communities or expat groups. Talking to others going through similar changes can help you feel less isolated and more supported.

Relationship Growth Through Change

Major life transitions can be incredibly hard on relationships, but they also offer an opportunity for growth, deeper understanding, and renewed connection. When faced together, challenges can strengthen a couple rather than break them.

It took time, patience, and a lot of open conversations for my husband and me to find our footing in Santiago. But now, I see that period as an important chapter in our relationship, one that taught us how to support each other through uncertainty, adapt to new realities, and come out stronger together.

If you and your partner are struggling with a big life transition, you don’t have to navigate it alone. As a relationship coach, I help couples build resilience, improve communication, and create stronger bonds through major life changes. Book a free consultation today and let’s work through it together.y